We had some funny moments with our daddy.  I may not recall all of them so I encourage all of my family and friends to chip in with their own.  My first story is one of Cheryl's favorites....................................   

Roaches and rats and mice, oh no...........................
Our daddy always made us keep a clean home because he was just a clean man and also he thought it would keep away roaches and rats.  If he did see a roach or a rat, he would say that we kept the door open too long, that's how the pest got into the house or he would say that the house was not clean.  Well, Cheryl got the bright idea to put a rubber rat under the TV one night.  She put it under the TV while daddy was at work.  While he was watching TV that night, of course he saw it.  The first person he blamed was Cheryl.  He told Cheryl that there was a rat in the house because she did not clean up well.  He got a stick and started beating the rat, which bounced up and down because it was rubber.  Cheryl was holding her composure and did not laugh.  She couldn't hold it any longer when daddy said, "I think I got him now!"  That's when Cheryl burst out laughing.  Daddy didn't think it was too funny then but he would laugh along with the rest of us when Cheryl would tell the story years later.

Off to the game we go....................................
Daddy and Corey were on their way to the Houston Astros game one day.  They were driving on a two way street.  The lady in front of them did not know onto which street she should turn but she knew it was to be a left turn.  She turned her blinker on to turn left on one street but decided this was not the one.   She did this on the next street, then the next.  The last time she did this, daddy said, "Aw, she's not going to turn" so he pulled over to the left to pass her, so of course, this is when she had the right street.  She turned at the same time he was passing, so he hit her.  The car's bumper by the tire was hanging and scraping against the tire.   Daddy drove on but Corey was thinking they were going back home to get another car or something but they passed the exit to go to the house.  Corey asked daddy where they were going and daddy looked at Corey like he was crazy and said, "I bought tickets to this game so we're going to this game!" 

Practice makes perfect..................................................
My cousins Paul and Gerald recalled this story when years ago, daddy was practicing their songs with them.  This went on all day but they weren't getting it right so daddy kept making them practice until they got it right.  Paul said, "Uncle Paul, we're tired and hungry.  Can we take a break and get something to eat?"  Daddy raised his fist and said, "You can get a bite of this knuckle sandwich if you don't keep on practicing!" (Music on this website brought to you by Paul and Gerald  with The Dedicated Voices-"Meet Me Jesus")

Sorry Charlie...............................................................
Now you know daddy loved a clean house.  He would make Cheryl or whoever was cleaning the kitchen clean out the drip pans to the stove every night so our drip pans were always spotless and shiny silver.  Our family friend, Mr. Charlie, and daddy loved to debate with one another, and would always begin his sentences with, "Well uh, Paul.." whenever he was about to make a point during their debate.  One night Mr Mitchell came to our house and he went into the kitchen.  Mr Charlie asked daddy how we kept our drip pans so clean.  Daddy said, "Well uh, Charlie, we clean 'em."  

Daddy and dogs didn't mix......................................................
Daddy couldn't stand dogs and cats but we convinced daddy to buy us a dog.  We named him Tiger.  Tiger knew daddy didn't like him so whenever he saw daddy, he would look at daddy and growl.  One day, we were inside the house and all of the sudden we hear daddy hollering.  We run outside to the backyard and see Tiger have daddy in a corner of the fence, growling.  Daddy was screaming, "Kids, come and get this dog offa me!"

Driving Mr. Daddy................................(Of course, Cheryl loved this one)
Daddy liked to do his own driving because no one could drive as well as he could but this day he was so tired that he let mother drive.  mother gets behind the wheel and drives on.  She runs over a bump in the road, which wakes daddy up.  He jumps and tells mother,  "Stop this car and pull over.  I don't wanna die!"

Mr. Right.......................
Daddy loved to debate.  Daddy and I debated over daylight savings time when Marcus and I moved to Georgia and he and mother were visiting us.  I said in the fall, turn your clock forward 1 hour and in the spring, turn your clock back 1 hour.  Daddy said no, it's fall back and spring forward.  I thought I was right but daddy insisted he was right.  Of course I find that I'm wrong.   I call daddy and tell him he's right.  He said, "I know.  The only time I was wrong was when I thought I was wrong."

Ooh, you said a bad word.....................
I don't know if I should tell this one because it has the "n" word in it.  Aw, I'll tell it anyway.  Daddy gathered all 4 of us at the kitchen table when we first moved to Killeen.  He asked us if we knew what Killeen stood for.  We said no.  He pointed to each one of us as he explained what the initials stood for: Kill (Cheryl) Each(Randall) andEvery(Charles) Nigg-r(Me).  Boy was I scared.

Same ol' same ol'..........
On our way to grandmother's house, we would pass this spot where something happened to mother, so mother would always tell the story the way it happened everytime we passed it.  We would always listen and laugh each time.  The last time she told it, daddy said, "Aw, honey, we've heard that story before."  He thought he was being funny, so he started laughing.  Mother didn't think so, so she said, "All right, I'll just shut up!"

We're just looking, thank you.............
Marcus and I were house hunting when we moved to Georgia.  We would always call daddy and tell him what a pretty house we saw and how much we liked it.  It would get daddy all excited, so weeks later he would ask us if we were in the process of purchasing it.  We'd say no. We did this several times, and even showed him one we liked when he visited us.   I guess he got tired of us building him up, then letting him down when we didn't buy, so when we told him about another one we liked he said, "Yeah, I know you guys like it, but are you guys going to buy it?"


So sad that it's funny...............................
Daddy loved to travel but he refused to buy gas where he could not use bathroom facilities.  We did run into people who were prejudiced.  We went to one gas station while traveling from California back to Texas.   I went to use the bathroom but was told the bathroom was not available for us to use.  Daddy was already pumping so he stopped the pump after pumping only about 50 cents worth of gas and paid her 50 cents.  He asked the attendant where she goes and can we use that one.  She said she can't let us use it.  He said, "You can spray some Lysol in there after 
we leave!"  

Where's Paula?.....
I had just had Courtney and was planning to stay with mother and daddy for a week so mother could help me with Courtney.  I had gained quite a bit of weight during my pregnancy, so I was larger than daddy was used to seeing me.  My ankles were retaining a lot of fluid after the birth.  Mother was alarmed, so she told this to daddy to see what he could recommend.   Mother said, "Honey, look at Paula's legs!!  She is retaining fluid!"  Daddy looked over at me over his glasses and responded, "Nope, she's just big!"   Mother said she told daddy later that night that she bets they won't see me in the morning when they wake up because he hurt my feelings. Daddy said, "Naw, she'll be all right."  Sure enough, the next morning, they looked in the room Courtney and I slept in and the bed was made up, minus his baby girl and 1st granddaughter. (He called me later to make up but I wasn't havin' it.  A week later, I finally forgave him. )

See, What Had Happened Was......
This story is one I'll never forget.  I want to share it, eventhough it's a little personal.  I got pregnant out of wedlock with my firstborn, but I'm not the 1st and certainly won't be the last.  I was so afraid of what  daddy was going to say.   Mother refused to tell daddy for me.  She told me that I had to tell him myself.   I was so scared that I didn't go home until I was in my 7th month of pregnancy.  When I finally went home, I was huge.  I think daddy turned as white as a ghost when he saw me and I immediately started crying.  Daddy sat down and said, "What are you crying for now?  You just made the statistics.  You're black and unwed!"  He went on and on, pointing his finger at me and I was still boo hoo crying.  I guess mother wanted to try and help me out a little bit, so she said, "Well Paula, did Marcus rape you?"  I stopped crying to laugh at the same time daddy stopped in midsentence and mid finger pointing to look over at mother and exclaim, "Aw, honey, now you know that's not what happened!"  It was a great tension reliever and he finally gave me the hug mother asked him to give me.   (Regardless of the circumstances, daddy always had a soft spot for Courtney, calling her his "little chocolate drop" and indulging her in all the Reese's Cups  she wanted when she got old enough to eat chocolate, even when I objected.)


Ain't What They Usta Be............
Mother and daddy were in the kitchen.  Mother had on some pants with her shirt tucked inside.  Daddy looked at her and said, "Honey, don't wear your shirt tucked inside your pants.  You ain't streamlined anymore."

"Papa's Got A Brand New Bag"...........
After daddy got tired of mother being mad at him over something he had done, he was trying to make up with her.  Mother had gone to bed with one of those black bonnets women wear to protect their hairstyles.  Daddy saw this as an opportunity to make her laugh, so he said, "Honey, do you know who you look like with that cap on?  You look like James Brown!"

In the Year of 1937,  a lovely lady was sent from Heaven, to be with me eternally, and help me prepare for eternity.
                                Love Always,
                                      Paul